November 1st, 2014
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KRISPY KREME’S INCREDIBLE MARTIAN ADVENTURE

No two weeks’ worth of blog scheduling, especially when we’ve been having fun exploring the bizarre developments in science and technology that we have the previous week, would be complete without talking about that strange rock on Mars that in one picture taken by NASA, wasn’t there, and then, later, suddenly was there. Indeed, so many of you sent me various versions of this story that not to talk about it would be a kind of error of omission.

I won’t even bother trying to summarize this strange story, since the following article does that more than adequately. It does, however, remind me of the line of Shakespeare, which if I may be permitted a slight adjustment,  that ‘there are more things than are dreamt of in our cosmology.”  In this case, the “more things” are that rock that wasn’t there in one NASA picture taken by the Mars rover Opportunity, and then, a little later, was there:

Mystery Rock ‘Appears’ in Front of Mars Rover

As the article makes clear, even Never A Straight Answer(NASA) is saying this “rock” looks like a jelly doughnut, which raises the question of just what did Krispy Kreme know, and when did it know it(and when did the Martian franchise open?)

Now when I first heard about this story, the first thing that crossed my mind was a similar episode, a few years back, when a Martian rover had suddenly and inexplicably just “died.” Never A Straight Answer told the rest of the world that its solar panels had become so laden with Martian dust that it simply ran out of electrical power, and the little robot had died. Requiascet in pace. But then the little rover inexplicably sprang back into life(so we were told), as its solar panels were suddenly clear of dust. The problem here was, if I recall correctly, that there was no Martian wind storm to blow the dust off, and in any case, even if there was one of those periodical Martian wind storms, it would have blown as much dust back on to the panels as it blew off. Which left the Windex Hypothesis, namely, that some Marvin the Martian had very obligingly cleaned our solar panels for us so we could continue to explore his (uninhabited) planet. A hypothesis about as believable as the dust storm explanation.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that Never A Straight Answer simply concocted the “it died of dust” story so they could go roaming about the Martian surface snapping pictures secretly.

This brings is back to the jelly doughnut rock and Krispy Kreme’s Incredible Martian Adventure.

Now, I love jelly doughnuts in general and Krispy Kreme’s doughnuts in particular, but I’m not travelling all the way to Mars for one, and I doubt NASA did, or is, either, which brings up my personal difficulties with this whole story.

We are faced with three basic logical possibilities:

  1. The rock wasn’t really there at all, and Never A Straight Answer and the National Reconnaissance Office photoshopped the picture and put a rock in it, having a bit of social-engineering psyop fun at everyone else’s expense, and frankly, given their track record, I personally wouldn’t put anything past them, but here, my intuition says otherwise, for reasons I’ll get to presently;
  2. The rock really wasn’t there and someone outside of NASA photoshopped the picture;
  3. The rock wasn’t really there, and then really was.

Now,  when one reads the various versions of the story, it seems apparent that the NASA scientists were as surprised and, reading between the lines a bit, perplexed, as everyone else. It’s the why of that perplexity that’s important, for they are faced with the last two alternatives: either someone was playing with them(Alternative Two), or, much more significantly, the rock wasn’t there, and then it was(Alternative Three, and forgive the pun)…

… and although I can think of a thousand quasi-scientific waffles to explain it (I would not want to be the PhD appearing before the cameras to “explain” the rock by whatever official waffle was selected as the “nothing to see here, move along folks” government explanation), in the final analysis it comes down to a simple though breathtaking proposition: someone put it there (See the Windex Hypothesis).

It’s when one contemplates the implications of “someone put it there” that one sees the real source of the perplexity, for that someone perforce has to be either (1) someone else from Planet Earth, and thus to that extent we’re looking at some evidence of someone’s “secret space program,” or (2) someone from somewhere else than Planet Earth placed the rock there, thus reassuring us that they have a bit of a sense of humor.

In my mind’s eye, I see that calm scientist with big innocent owl-like eyes, calmly pivoting his head back and forth and blinking slowly like an owl at the assembled press corps, calmly explaining to us that the rock wasn’t calmly put there by anyone, not even by another country’s secret and unannounced but very calm Martian robot rover, and that current calm thinking is that the jelly doughnut rock may simply have calmly tumbled onto the scene because of “hitherto unknown Martian geophysical activity” or that it was an exceptionally light jelly doughnut, and calmly blew there on some errant but calm Martian breeze, or there’s always the calming possibility that the whole thing may be some prankster’s innocent and utterly calming practical joke of a rock calmly photoshopped into a picture…

Remain calm everyone, and calmly move along, there’s nothing to see here…

It’s either that, or the roosters are crowing.

See you on the flip side.

 

 

 

24 Responses to KRISPY KREME’S INCREDIBLE MARTIAN ADVENTURE

  1. Here’s what I’m thinking.
    A message from an unannounced Japanese rover that is also there. Heck, there could be a pack of them. That doughnut is obviously not a real doughnut but could be the fake plastic kind that the Japanese are so fond of displaying in their street front shop windows. An iconic image of their culture spread abroad. And no less is the jelly-doughnut the favorite treat of fat, lazy & incompetent American police men. That also is an iconic image spread abroad to other countries of the world.

    Under my own intoxicating speculation explanation I theorize that the Japanese rover left that fake pastry there just to exactly let the American operators know that a. they are not alone, b. we had the element of surprise and chose not to destroy you, & c. the fake doughnut represents your fake security on this planet (and potentially back on Earth also).

    • 8thdegreeofj,

      excellent theory. Reminds me of the time the British boasted of manufacturing the tiniest drill bit and then sent it to the Japanese who drilled a hole down the center of it and then returned it to the British.

  2. perhaps a message too the thin blue line who enjoys a jelly donut on there dime to get back too work and start harassing the serfs…..they do serve and protect “them” after all….it is called enter the net for a reason.

    remember all work and no play makes any man a dull “boy”.

  3. Once you embrace the reality of ET’s then the idea that an intelligent being messed with the rover is a very acceptable hypothesis. Were we unsure about the existence of highly advanced ET’s then the hypothesis would be much less tenable. How may I ask rhetorically can we believe that any self respecting ET race would “not” mess with the apparatus and its views? It is pretty much a given that they would.

  4. Under your options you left out one other that conspiracy theorists have been presenting for 40 years–that none of these rovers has ever even left Earth in the first place; the rock, the ‘dusty’ rover, etc. are all operating right here on Earth to perpetrate the supposed fantasy that we’re really in space and on other celestial bodies. Both of these events could be explained too easily by the ‘someone’ actually being right here on Earth playing games with the space agency’s toys.

    This isn’t to say I’m one of them–there are some theories they put out that are simply too outlandish to be remotely probable. However, with these specific events in discussion, it’s hard to ignore the possibility when even your analysis seems to imply a different conspiracy.

    BUT, I am one who strongly believes there is other life in our universe and that some of that life could be well in advance of ours in both technology and intelligence. What we’re perceiving as the possibility of other life ‘playing games’ with our infantile space programs may be that other intelligence’s efforts to help us to develop as we help our own children to develop through discovery and example. Just as we will place a new toy in front of a baby–whether human or animal–to see how they react, that intelligence may be doing the same to determine ours.

    Mankind as a society has an enormous conceit that we are the ultimate in intelligence. We are warlike to the point that more than once we have attempted genocide of our own species and have demonstrated genocide of lesser species. Do you believe that given this well-documented human history, any extra-terrestrial life form would openly land on Earth and say, “We come in peace”? Would we act like our own children and trust them implicitly, or would we act like our parents who say, “Never talk to strangers”? Or, would we act like the sociopaths we are and attempt to destroy them after which we would steal their technologies for ourselves?

    I highly doubt that any of us living today will ever know the real answers to any of these questions.

  5. The face on Mars has to eat something. Why not a jelly donut?

    I would add several more (conspiracy) theories to the mix:

    1) the obvious and I can’t believe nobody caught this, not even Tom and Nita Horn: The Vatican placed that rock there as symbol that Mars was Vatican territory and all other green horns better buzz off. A rock to build my Church?

    2) The Breakaways either put the jelly donut there as an inside joke to other insiders that, yes, like other “momentous” satellite explorations in our solar system, this too is being done on a sound stage in LA (or Death Valley) and all the tax money that was supposed to be spent on the Mars rover (and the first Moon landing) actually went elsewhere. Making a movie is a heckuva lot cheaper than actually building a robot or rocket and putting them up in space. Or, a lazy custodian cleaning the sound stage dropped the jelly donut by accident.

    3) The Israelis put the rock there in a stern message to the Obamma administration that putting Palestinians on Mars just will not do. The Palestinians still will complain and throw rocks. Therefore, it would be better if the US and UN implemented the secret and far more satisfying Likud plan of exterminating all the Palestinians using US soldiers who will later be charged with war crimes and the US will be sued by human rights groups based out of Tel Aviv, representing the extinct Palestinians.

    4) Lastly, and the theory I lean towards: we are looking at another carefully crafted pet rock craze in the making. If anyone lived through the 1970’s, they will remember a fad that swept America whereby Americans were purchasing for $3.95– a rock and an instruction manual of how to care for the rock marketed by a down and out ad man in California. The man became an instant millionaire and confirmed to so many that PT Barnum’s adage was indeed true: a sucker was born every day. But moreover, I suspect this single event may have been the watershed moment for the banksters where they decided the American populous was so far gone, that they, the banksters, could now get away with anything and never get caught. I know it was watershed moment in my life as I came to the same realization as the banksters. Unfortunately, unlike the banksters, I was ostracized in school for not buying into this fad. I was even chastised by a school teacher when I refused to have a pet rock, not even a free one from my back yard.

    I suspect the banksters, for nostalgic reasons, and more importantly, to fleece the masses and make a quick and much needed buck so they can get themselves off planet soon to fleece everybody in outer space as well, (Maybe even one day sell those alien beings pet rocks also), I suspect the bankster have cooked up another version of the pet rock scam but this time using “disappearing” Mars rocks. What they will do this time is send you an empty box and tell you that there is an invisible Mars rock inside and if you are patient, it will reveal itself to its new owner… if the rock likes you. This will leave millions of gullible people all over America buying these rocks and hoping for that special connection that will cause the unusual Mars rock to reveal itself. Of course, numerous paid agents of the banksters will proclaim on tv that the rock showed itself to them one day while they were giving it a bath or taking it for a walk in a stroller. It is the Emperor wears no close on steroids. And if the banskters, can pull this off, my hat is definitely off to them.

    That is not to say, I don’t believe there could be rocks on Mars that are conscious. Consciousness has to go somewhere and I would imagine the surface of Mars is such slim pickens that a rock would have to do. No doubt DARPA has already spliced one of these conscious Mars rocks with human genes to make the combat soldier of the future, but one who will be used to clobber disobedient humans and not evil banksters. Interesting that the superhero The Thing was made radioactive flying through the Van Allen Belt on his way to investigate Mars with other members of the Fantastic Four. You sometimes wonder if Marvel comics are being written in the bowels of the Breakaway Civilization?

    • F.C., re gene splicing, yes of course, Sargent Rock!

      Will the rock like/love me enough to manifest? Diabolically clever. We haven’t felt hope like that since Obama proffered it in 2008. Are you sure there’s not at least some bankster blood in the Calcutta lineage?

      Stale jelly donuts past their out date could be repackaged as pet dorocks at triple the markup.

      I hope that you don’t have any regrets over your decision not to adopt back in the Pet Rock era. Personally, I realized I wasn’t “ready” and settled enough to do so. It would have been just plain wrong knowing that my little rolling rock would gather no moss. Besides I already had a Rolling Rock in my life (I’ve been accused of a lot of things over the years but never of infidelity to rocks) that came out of Latrobe, PA. although I knew it was over between us long before Anheuser-Busch got involved nearly a decade ago.

      • Rolling rock? Wasn’t that brewed by monks at one time?

        Do I have bankster blood? All roads lead to Babylon, I suppose.

  6. I rule out the wind. The atmosphere on Mars has 6mbar that is 0.6% of what we have on earth. I think the wind there is only capable to move very fine dust particles.

  7. Look, these Chinese teleporting kids read these blogs and connect the dots too. No effort at all for them to dump a donut on Mars.
    Or Barry Ween is messing with us.

  8. Dr. Farrell: I never would have pictured you as a jelly doughnut man, LOL

    RE: the rock … excuse me, but why should we assume that it’s a ROCK? Dr. Rhawn Joseph isn’t, and he’s file a lawsuit against NASA because of it, From Russia Today:
    http://rt.com/news/nasa-lawsuit-life-mars-440/

    Quote:
    “Yet Joseph says this may be a hasty assessment. He believes the object looks like a “mushroom-like fungus, a composite organism consisting of colonies of lichen and cyanobacteria, and which on Earth is known as Apothecium,” he wrote in the filed petition.

    He also says the rock was present in the “before” photo NASA released. Joseph posted a magnified version of the earlier photo on Cosmology.com, showing, he maintains, that the object is partially visible. He explains in his petition:

    “[S]pores were exposed to moisture due to changing weathering conditions on Mars. Over the next 12 days these spores grew and developed into the structure depicted… The evidence is consistent with biological activity and suggests that life on Mars may have been discovered.

    However, in the absence of moisture, biological specimens such as Apothecium will dry out, turn brittle and break apart and this appears to be the condition of the structure as depicted.””

    And of course the Kreme on this Cake is his final comment uttered out of total frustration with Never A Straight Answer:

    “Any intelligent adult, adolescent, child, chimpanzee, monkey, dog, or rodent with even a modicum of curiosity, would approach, investigate and closely examine a bowl-shaped structure which appears just a few feet in front of them when 12 days earlier they hadn’t noticed it,” he wrote. “But not NASA and its rover team who have refused to take even a single close-up photo.”

    Thank you, Rhawn, for echoing the lament of sooo many of us.

  9. Huh, a donut on Mars, well that tells you something about NASA in a “nutshell”. Face on Mars anybody, oh well no we can’t talk about that because it’s just a matter of light and shadow. Eh, why didn’t they land the “thing” in the Cydonia region?, well nothing to see there, so move along.

    Any article about space in general has to be taken with a grain of salt, the lies continue in just about every topic you can think of, and the media is a willing friend. If the KK donuts are so good, why eat half, is the secret space program pilots on a diet?

    Why doesn’t KK donuts make donuts in the shape of a pyramid? then you could drop as many as you like and get away with it, as GAH would say “Oh Brother”.

    • Now there’s a thought, pyramids make from donuts. They’d have a lot of ‘splainin’ to do should something then start biting the tops of these pentahedrons. But the symbolism, much like the pastry itself, is irresistible.

  10. While talking about jelly donuts on Mars any thoughts about Chinge-3 malfunction on the Moon. Another Phobos-Grunt if so China should think it self lucky that it’s Lunar probe landed safely and it’s rover got to move about for awhile before it’s mechanical failure. As for Spirit could the news of it’s death be a cover story and it’s still on mission a deep black one. By the way Jesse Ventura was on Larry King and named our what to be two parties the Democrips and Repbloods. My money is on either Marvin the Martian clean the rovers and the jelly donut was left by a litter bug from a secret Mars base of ours or think Robinson Crouse on Mars movie another solar system has a base on Mars.

    • Well if the American economy runs on caffeine is it too much of a stretch to suggest that Mars will up the ante with coffee and donuts? Looking ahead a century or more from now I can imagine a down on their luck Martian, imported or indigenous, standing at the intersection of a busy road holding a sign “Will word for donuts”.

      As for the Chinese mission, in summary, it was a sweet and sour experience.

  11. Regarding “The Krispy Kreme Meme,” if it is Photoshopped, then NASA really is a bunch of half-wits, liars and incompetents. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it really IS a half-eaten jelly doughnut that was dropped and forgotten by a sloppy member of the Space Command maintenance team (compare the before and after shots of the surrounding tiny pebbles for further clues).

    Of course the Mars doughnut reminds me of those infamous reports of a Coke can seen in the bottom of the shot of the first EVA at Tranquility Base by Australians, who were first to view televised feed of Apollo 11. Too bad the Aussis didn’t have Tivo way back when.

  12. This story obviously has a huge bias. Joseph insinuates that the donut was a Krispy Kreme so unless he is using that moniker as a generic substitute, like Kleenex for tissues, he either has inside information or has let personal preference interfere with his customary rigorous analysis. For me that casts a shadow on the entire body of his work to date. I mean, if he’s willing to compromise his work over conjecturing mere doughnut brands where else might his discipline for rigorous scientific thinking fallen by the wayside?

    But let’s suppose he’s not beholden to a name and that he was using Krispy Kreme as a catchall replacement for the jelly laden confection; he might at least also have included the postulations of Richard Hoagland or Scott DeHart. Richard especially would seem like a logical choice for a second opinion and he is no stranger to anomalous structures of extraterrestrial concern. Or what about Jay Widener’s proclamations regarding the late great filmmaker, Stanley Kubrick. Where is he in our hour of need, when we could use some clarification on how to either substitute or cleverly integrate a malleable Hollywood Martian landscape set with streaming images sent from the red planet for the bamboozling of an unsuspecting audience.

    I submit, more bread and circuses find me once again terminally skeptical.

  13. LOL Joseph and Patricia …. no krispy or dunkin’ doughnuts for me please, this looks more like an exposed geode. But, a certain ‘astrobiologist’ offers another theory and since I don’t want to be a spoiler, go over to Earthfiles.com entry on Jan. 30th to see what he suggested … which is just as interesting to think about.

  14. Многоуважаемый Иосиф Патрикович, здравствуйте ! Интересный материал (как и все Ваши наработки по другим важным направлениям) о Марсе. Особенно нам понравилась сквозная ссылка на Глобус Марса – что очень актуально, в связи с Мировым Финансовым кризисом. Если серьёзно, нас очень интересует актуальная, в Социальных Технологиях и в Технических Технологиях, религиозно-политическая перспектива SemanticWeb. Что у Marshall McLuhan близко к термину “Электрическая Литургия” – “Later medival visual muddied liturgical piety as much as elrctronic-field pressure has clarifield it today.” [см. "The Gutenberg Galaxy - The makinng of typographie man" и СС. 414-415 в моём послесловии Русского перевода, "Сущностное постижение глубин medium'ов - Развоплощение Человека",2003 "UNDERSTANDING MEDIA: Extensions of man",1964]. Коллапс энергий “нулевой точки” провоцирует луч каждого монитора, включённого в Сеть “eGov”, со своими алгоритмами “mental Tech” индивидуальной направленности (стимул и мотивация). А именно, разрушить Главный (после Пирамиды Гизы) Информационный Боевой Комплекс в центре Сетки Хартмана – “мавзолей” на Красной площади. Я Вам уже писал, думаю наше сообщение Вами не получено, поэтому буду важное повторять “квантами”. Как Вы грамотно заметили, “ментальная имплпантация” – верный термин. Теперь вопрос: “В Сети появились изображения и Комменты об активации Пирамид, по всей топологии сетки Хартмана. Лучи уходят на Марс (?) из вершин всех пирамид Земли”, как Вы считаете – Почему ? Далее, Технология ложи “Мемфис-Мицраим” эффективна лишь при работе луча, который исходит из основной планетарной Пирамиды-мавзолея – из усечённой пирамиды, из Зиккурата у Кремля. Недаром, пирамидальное UFO одно время появилась над Химки, затем мгновенно телепортировалось и висело над ФУНКЦИОНИРУЮЩИМ генератором, над мумией Владимира Ильича БЛАНК (ЛЕНИН). Necro-мегалиты и на Марсе, и на нашей планета on-line УПРАВЛЯЮТ и постоянно КОНТРОЛИРУЮТ через свои токи, исследуемые Вами, ретранслируясь в “нулевых точках” ГЛОБАЛЬНЫМИ ТОКАМИ ВСЕЛЕННЫХ. Зиккурат-мавзолей выполняет функцию подавления, используя контролируемые Технологии (hi-tech, hyper-tech, hi-hume) современной ложи “Мемфис-Мицраим”. Все ментальные силы Технологий планеты сегодня работают на фокусировку под названием “Гиза”, “Марс” и ментальная иерархия. В частности, “Диктина Афина”, с ловчей Сетью – Глобальной распределённой Сетью сетей IV Рейха … Буду благодарен за взаимодействие и общение с Вами. P.S. Передайте, пожалуйста, наши наилучшие пожелания Вашему коллеге – Igor VITKOWSKI, кстати напишите мне как зовут его отца. Спасибо Вам за Ваши замечательные книги. У меня – четыре, они переведёны на Русский язык и изданы в “Эксмо” – (1)2004: “Чёрное Солнце III Рейха”, 2009; (2)2006: “Братство “Колокола”, 2010; (3)2002: “Боевая Машина Гизы”, 2009; и (4)2008: “Нацистский интернационал”, 2011). Ваша работа бесценна (не имеет цены), Ваш Сизифов труд – титанический … Успехов Вам в наступившем 2014 году и крепкого здоровья Вам, Вашей семье, Вашим близким и нам, Вашим почитателям в России. P.P.S. Кстати, многоуважаемый Иосиф Патрикович. Приятное совпадение – с 1998 года в Колледже Правительства Москвы я начал читать авторский Курс: “Элементы Православной антропологии и мистические аспекты Глобальных коммуникаций”, и в настоящее время я, обладая Z.b.: таким серьёзным опытом как Научный руководитель выпускных Дипломных Проектов, заканчиваю Докторскую диссертацию “Философская антропология cyber-социума”, где соотношу пророчества святых отцов, в частности, преподобного Иоанна КРОНШТАДСКОГО и современные Футурологические Концепции с Военным прогнозированием. На основе Эсхатологических моделей и Эсхатологической Концепцией XXI века. За сим кланяюсь. Искренне Ваш – референт архиепископа Амвросия (von Sievers). ВАВИЛОВ Михаил Константинович, Москва. Россия. 1. февраля 2014.

  15. Good post, JF!

    Reading the comments section in the link you provided made me laugh. People are saying they are “two different pictures”; that it “just makes sense” that the rock was moved there by a some from of Martian geopysical occurrence, blah blah etc etc.

    People are just totally unwilling to comprehend, or, accept the thought of someone actually up there deliberately playing funny buggers lol. People that lay claim to being ‘intelligent’ and ‘scientific’ in their thought processes are just as philosophical in their outlook as those that have never finished high school, yet they have the audacity to label and accuse all that do not agree with their conclusions as being ‘ignorant’, ‘stupid’ and lacking in scientific acumen.

    Religious concepts as well as uniformitarianism/evolution are killing the intellectual growth of our species!!

  16. Alternate Hypothesis: Finding cell reception spotty on Mars, one brave jelly doughnut from an entire tribe of Martian jelly doughnuts finds ingenious method of taking selfie to post on Facebook.