THE TWITIFICATION OF AMERICA BY PROFESSIONALLY CERTIFIED EDUBABBLERS ...
Just when you think it's safe, or that Amairikun edgykayshun and its "certified" professionals couldn't possibly get any nuttier or loonier, think again. This time the manifestation of twitification is coming from Portland, an outpost of California-like trendy twittery in Oregon. The target of the twittery?
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Yes, you read that correctly: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
And the "reason" for their targeting?
Well, it's because, you see, it's like it might like be sort of...like... offensive to like ... well, you know... like non-white students who like eat sandwiches made of ... like... stuff that's not like bread and like peanut butter and jelly...
Like.... you know? Consider this story from 2012:
Peanut Butter And Jelly Racist? Portland School Principal Ties Sandwich To White Privilege
Now, while we all recognize that Oregon has been waging a ferocious campaign to overtake California in resident lunacy and twittery(followed closely in third place by Washington and Wackychusetts), and while this recent outbreak of chronic goofiness might incline one to believe that it has, indeed, succeeded in its objective of becoming the most laughably loonified state in the union, and while recent polls of British subjects suggest that, if offered, they would not take their former colonies back precisely because of the terminal goofiness of Amairikun edgykayshun (even if they had a coupon to do so), this one really ranks just a few decimal points behind Common Core for the sheer grandiosity of its sweeping Gates-like vapidity(the technical term for which is Gatesidity[n. a scheme of such grandiose banality and vapidity that it can only be accomplished by billions of wasted dollars], a close synonym to Gatesopathy, [ n., a terminal form of narcissistic psychopathy brought about by a fatal combination of banality and stupidity, bucket loads of money, and a dysfunctional need to meddle in everyone else's lives]).
But note what is going on here:
"The sandwich was reportedly mentioned in a lesson plan last year. Verenice Gutierrez from the Harvey Scott K-8 School used it as an example of a subtle form of racism in language, according to the report.
“'What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?'Gutierrez said, according to the Tribune. 'Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.'
"As part of a training program known as "Courageous Conversations" that has been phased into Portland schools in recent years, the Tribune reports that staff members at Gutierrez's school have been going through trainings, classroom observations and exercises, such as reading a news article and then talking about it from the perspective of “white privilege."
"The organization behind the program is Pacific Educational Group. According to the group's website, their aim is to help minority students through initiatives that address racial educational disparities, "intentionally, explicitly, and comprehensively." (Emphasis added)
The goofiness here is already in a reductio ad absurdum, for the very next step would be for me to insist that Mexican or Italian or Chinese or Japanese restaurants also carry "white American male food and sandwiches" like roast beef and mashed potatoes, otherwise, their offerings of chimichangas, tortillas, guacamole, tempura, chow mein, or fettucini Alfredo would be "insensitive" and "inherently and subconsciously racist" because they do not address "cuisine disparities" of minorities, and that "menu reform" must be "intentional, explicit, and comprehensive" (and to be really inclusive, we should include whale blubber for our Eskimo brothers... no, when it comes right down to it, all cuisine from everywhere should be represented on all menus, all the time... we should simply ban the idea of Mexican, Italian, Chinese, German, Japanese, or any other ethnic food altogether as being potentially offensive to everyone else). Now, if you're one of the sane people left in the country (and chances are, you're not insane if you're not a recent product of "teacher certification" or a "professional facilitator,") then you probably don't suffer from paroxysms of umbrage at seeing a Mexican restaurant sign, and you probably think - rightly - that my little exercise in cuisine sensitivity is just so much insane nonsense, until it dawns on you (sane non-teacher certified non-facilitator that you are), that the same logic is behind the notion that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist (which implies that non-white people can't enjoy peanut butter and jelly without feeling offended, or, vice versa, that white people are inherently incapable of enjoying "non-White" cuisine [whatever that is] without feelings of racial superiority, for that is the heaping steaming pile of horse puckey that her "logic" reduces to.)
Yes, it's that bad in Portland, Oregon... and most of the rest of Amairikuh.
Also note what's behind all this: the dreaded Medusa of the busybody "facilitator" - we've all had our minds and hearts turned to stone by her type of infantile nonsense at one time or another - whose head is full of the trendy mush of pseudo-learning and mindless juvenile "activities," doubtless imbibed from some teacher certification program and all of its attendant sensitivity blither. Her antennae are ever twitching and pulsing with suspicion, eager to find some offense against the sublime homogenization of political correctness, and the end result of her insanely stupid intrusions into American schooling(as distinct from education) is merely that there can never be an end to the formation of pseudo-groups to be "sensitive to" until the culture collapses into a stew of competing special interests to be arbitrated by her own intrusive narcissistic "training workshops", the only result of which is the empowerment of such lunatic psychopaths, whose sole claim to power and authority is to "train" the rest of us to be "sensitive" to their own made-up claptrap and fantasized offenses.
Let us be clear: these people are enemies; they are not, most decidedly not, our friends, our children's friends, or society's and culture's friends. They exemplify, symbolize, and drive the collapse of our culture. In a word: education in the United States is dead, and each of us, to the extent we are able, is now responsible for preserving the genuine hallmarks and monuments of Western civilization and culture for ourselves and our friends and families, in direct and subversive opposition to "the system". In short, we must now all educate not only ourselves, but our children, for if the pabulum in Portland is any indicator, the system will not and cannot, because the lunatics are running the asylum.
Let the motto be: "Beware the facilitator!" Eventually, with enough luck and a lot of standing up against them and just REFUSAL to join their silly mandated "training" or cooperate with them in any way, we will be able to fire these people. That's the only thing they deserve, and the only thing their "accomplishments" warrant.
See you on the flip side...
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I used to get so angry about the P.C retrograde mentality.now it is hilarious and spooky.kind of like this good friend of mine a long time ago .i nick named him Tweety.he had a drinking problem and when we would pound down a few he’d loose his take on reality and began to change.even his facial.. looked just like tweety bird .a whilley look in his eye .i’d ask him where is sylvester? the nick name stuck .tweedy always had a funny ring to it in my minds eye..little spooky humor .
You’re now condemning the entire Pacific Northwest as nutty, loony, and twittery? All because of ONE PRINCIPAL’S stupid statement? Well now, that’s an educated reaction…
Your Jellygate drama, sweet and sticky as it is, will be a big hit in certain circles (quick!!!! call Rush!!!) but seriously, is it worth jelly-smearing an entire part of the country?
Too bad — you used to have quite a few fans up here. Ah well, my PB&J awaits…..
In defense of the parts of Oregon which are not as ridiculous as Portland, I have to tell you that most of the rest of Oregon has long considered Portland to be something of a joke – kind of like Oregon’s answer to Los Angeles (see Steve Martin’s “LA Story”).
Back in the day when hunting was big (like when there was still something to hunt), we in rural Oregon would refer to the “sportsmen” who invaded our rural areas to go elk and deer drinking, er, I mean hunting, as “Portland Hunters.” These are the kind of people who would shoot a famrer’s mule and proudly display it on the hood of their 4-wheel drive vehicle, thinking it was an elk. (where are the antlers, fool?)
Please don’t judge all of Oregon on the stupidity of the dolts in places like Portland and Eugene (Oregon’s answer to San Francisco – sort of). There are still a lot of decent people here, albeit they have been as deeply decieved as have most people in this country.
I like to remark that our capital, Salem, is interesting because it has the state government, state mental hospital, and state prison all in one town – which is appropriate since it is so hard to differentiate between those groups.
Portland has a significant population of Jewish people, yet you didn’t hear anywhare near the huge outcry you should have when nitwits on the City Council were proposing flouridating the water. Apparently these people don’t remember World War 2.
I agree that the public education system is pretty much headed to flatline city. Working in it for the last 2 decades, I have watched the decline and the inability of those involved to respond to, or even see, the problems in any kind of realistic manner.
I’m glad I was taught to learn things for myself(thanks to my parents and a few really good teachers along the way).
Joseph,
Excellent article. These ‘people’ are most assuredly not our friends.
Here is an even more disturbing look at ‘our’ educational system:
“Manufacturing Satanism: A Personal Memoir” by Lasha Darkmoon
http://www.darkmoon.me/2014/manufacturingsatanism/
keep your eyes peeled for the 2 headed llamas, and of course the hatfields….its a bad sign.
Correction: http://www.darkmoon.me/2014/manufacturing-satanism/
Ok, the discussion over sandwiches is a good pretext to expose rampant idiocy.
Anyway, just for the record, the ingredients of a well-known brand of peanut butter:
MADE FROM ROASTED PEANUTS AND SUGAR, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: MOLASSES, FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS (RAPESEED AND SOYBEAN), MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, SALT.
So that makes mostly peanuts (GM??) + sugar. Jams and jellies are of course minimum 50% sugar.
Bon appetit!
That’s sort of point about class:
Those who’d pay attention to those things would/will have grown up around good food, of likely many ethnic varieties, and for that reason will not eat PB+J sandwiches.
insulin induced coma keeps people from thinking about what p butter and jam sandwitches make.
lost i bet you hate p butter and cheese on saltine crackers.
Doesn’t sound appealing.
And if there be some reference there I’m supposed to get, I don’t see it.
The fact remains that the point is indeed a class thing. People interested in food don’t regularly eat that garbage.
This tale isn’t about jam.
At best, PBJ might be cultural but certainly not racist. I see your very valid point, Dr. Farrell. This is a good/very saddening example of how far our society has devolved. My state is joked about for decades and since I know that I’m not representative of the ridiculed mentality I certainly don’t see a need to become defensive. Portland isn’t the issue, it’s the fact unchecked the absurd depths that the PC movement has penetrated society and specifically education the US could fail within our lifetimes.. Democracy was called “the great experiment”.
Yes, but for nutritional reasons the sandwich should be dropped–particularly in public schools. (You can still make one yourself if you want it.)
Woody Allan’s line(Annie Hall?) about teachers comes to mind: “people who can’t do anything teach and the ones that can’t teach, teach at my school”.
Peanut butter and jelly always seemed to be very proletarian/working class and anti-elitist,something you grabbed from the fridge for late-night munchies or when you were broke or rather spend your last few bucks on a six-pack. A simple quiz. Which does not belong: a. Park ave b. Gucci c. peanut butter and jelly d. yacht. The late Murray Bookchin called our era “the age of moronity” and his adopted city, Burlington VT, “Yuppington”. The sandwich being being mainly brown, you would think make it a politically correct “sandwich of color”. Portland still has a lot of good there, and unlike most of conservative America ,supports organics, votes yes on GMO labelling, doesn’t only shop at Walmart and Costco, and believes the minimum wage should be over 6 bucks. I think there water is flouride free to boot.
At least in Oregon we call out goofiness like that, I’ve lived in quite a few states ( and visited all but 5) and the same sort of nonsense goes on everywhere, but in many of those states the people just accept it as normal behavior. The Pacific Northwest is pretty much known as an independent minded region, and of course that means that goofiness will be found there as well, and it also means that areas that don’t tolerate independent thought as a normal way of life tend to find our lifestyle to be strange. If you tolerate different ideas you’ll get goofy ones in the mix, but I find it to be better than the alternative.
http://www.pacificeducationalgroup.com/pages/clients_districts
is your school district a client?
The problem is not so much that PB and J sandwiches are racist.
It’s that their so awful to eat and usually made worse with bad fruit jelly and Wonderbread.
So the real question is why is anyone serving them except for ironical reasons?
What is considered “normal” US food is highly problematic, and is mostly a creation of the industrialization of packaged food during World War Two.
So in fact the mass utilization of PB and J sandwiches as school food stuffs is evidence of vapidity.
How about noodles in spiced peanut sauce instead?
P nut butter and cheese on saltine crackers anyone?
Growing up in the south, the daughter of sharecroppers, we always associated peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with white kids. When the schools were finally desegregated, I remember sitting in the cafeteria with hate burning in my eyes watching the “rich” white kids eating their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, laughing without a care in the world, licking their fingers, while we black kids sat on the other side of the cafeteria eating our lunches provided by the school. I used to wonder why do only those white kids get to eat those sandwiches. Why can’t black kids? When I asked my mother, she scolded me and told me it was devil food and I was never to say anything like that again. When I pressed her, she finally confessed that she didn’t know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Only white people knew how to make them. Black folks weren’t taught how to make them. She sunk to the floor in tears and me and my mother held each in our arms for what seemed like eternity. When my father finally came home drunk from the pool hall after picking up his disability and workers’ compensation checks, he asked us why we were crying. When we explained to him why we were crying, he stood somber for a few moments and then recounted how as a child he had to watch the white farm hands eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, smacking their lips in delight, while all the black workers had to eat home made stews out of a pot. When I asked him why they didn’t make their own sandwiches, my father stood silently for a moment, his lips quivered, and he finally blurted out: “we just didn’t know how!” Soon we were all holding each other, crying on the kitchen floor.
Later my father suggested I visit old misses Jefferson, who had been a kitchen maid in in a white people’s house for many years. Surely she would have had to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the white children she cared for. When I rode my bicycle up to her front porch, she came out and studied me sternly. I introduced myself and hesitantly told her the nature of my business. My father warned me that she had lived among the white people for too long and had become mean and hateful. Some even claimed she hated black people. When I asked her how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she shouted back: “black folk got no business eating them sandwiches. That’s a privilege of the white folks! Last time I tried to show black folks how to make sandwiches it made me nothing but angry! When some flour got on my face while I was making the bread, they all laughed at me and said I looked like a white person. And looking like a white person for just one minute was just long enough to realize these black fools don’t deserve to know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!” With that old misses Jefferson spun on her heals and stomped back inside her house slamming the door in my face. With tears in my eyes I rode home, at first very angry at Misses Jefferson, but then as I rode, I began to sympathize with her and understand her pain. She too was just one more victim of the arrogant white folks and their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Later, while attending Howard university through a full government scholarship, my animosity and revulsion towards peanut butter and jelly sandwiches resurfaced one day while eating lunch with some school friends. They were mostly from the north, well-to-do black kids from cities like New York, Boston and Philadelphia. When one of them pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and started munching on it, I quickly admonished him: “That’s white peoples’ food” I shouted. Amused, the student put down his sandwich and removed his gold rimmed glasses and laughed.
“You southerners need to get with the times. Black people have been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a generation up in the north.”
“But it is still white peoples’ food” I exclaimed standing up now to confront him. One of the other students looked at me and also laughed.
“She probably doesn’t know how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” The whole table began laughing. With that I ran out of the room in tears leaving my own lunch behind. It wasn’t until I met with the the chair of the school psychology department did I realize how deeply scarred I was on this seemingly simple gesture of white racism. He advised me to interview a professor in black history, Dr. Trudy Leibowitz, who had written her thesis on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and white racism. Her latest book: “Interracial Sex: The Subliminal Message Behind Oreo Cookies” was a national best seller. She told me that white people always used peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to lord over black people and they were indeed a glaring symbol of white oppression. She said it was very common for Klansmen to finish their meetings and rallies with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and white milk, another symbol of white supremacy. She even encouraged me to do my own research on the subject and certainly not bottle this injustice up inside. The first thing I decided to do was get peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and white milk banned from the university. I succeeded. Then I began my work on exploring the origins of white food racism with the help of Professor Leibowitz who had become my lover by this time. One discovery I made was that in some parts of the south white people had been referred to as PBJ’s but when the depression hit many white people could no longer afford bread so they began to eat their sandwiches using crackers instead, hence the modern black name for white people: crackers. Through the help of some of Professor Leibowitz’s colleagues my investigation was quickly turned into a book which became a national bestseller. (My love and professional relationship with Professor Leibowitz soon ended after my book was published when I discovered her and her book publishing friends were entitled to 99% of the book’s profits).
I was even invited to the Clinton White House where I was given the Presidential Medal of Honor. President Clinton held my hand and tearfully shared with me stories of his childhood in Arkansas where many of the white students in his school would save the crust from their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to throw at the black kids on their way home from school. Many times he would try to stop the white kids only to be pelted with the sandwich crusts instead. He too had painful memories relating to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and agreed with me that they should probably be banned in the United States. He told me later as an adult, a whore he once met in a Little Rock crack house remembered his valor and thanked him profusely. He confided he was very fond of black women and this talk of peanut butter jelly sandwiches made him want to have sex with me.
Frankie the real problem starts when you get the beer goggles on in a warhouse, and start eating those p nut butter and jam sandwiches.
boom boom 10 dallah…chop chop 3 dallah, next thing you know you start feeling like tarzen and cheetah in a old black and white war movie…..the golden oldies.
Frankie the real problem starts when you get the beer goggles on in a warhouse, and start paying for the privileged of eating those p nut butter and jam sandwiches.
boom boom 10 dallah…chop chop 3 dallah, next thing you know you start feeling like tarzen and cheetah in a old black and white war movie…..the golden oldies.
Frankie, please post part 2, your mis adventures with ‘Big Mac’
Growing up I had to eat quite a few p butter/jelly sandwiches. I was very envious of others who could afford to buy their lunches. P and j was the poor man’s lunch.
About 20 years ago in my N. Denver neighborhood someone had wrote on a billboard “Don’t Californicate Colorado”. They moved here in droves and write letters to the newspapers complaining about farmers burning their fields so they can’t run that day because they don’t want to breathe the smoke.
Remember the days when actors who were not Northern Western European ancestry had to change their names because they were not (American) names Izzy Sourkrut better known under his (American) name Danny Kay. Or the forcing of conquered people to speak the language their masters around the world especially in the Americas, Australia and Arab and Turkish conquests. As for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches there too expensive to make anymore. And to paraphrase the mayor of Chicago during the 1968 Democratic convention riots American Education is not there to promote Education but to prevent Education.
In Private as well as Public Schools they’re day jails to keep the brats off the streets.
In Holland the supreme court will now decide if we can have “sinterklaas en zwarte piet”. It is our version of santa claus. Because white people use make up and become black. It is a tradition from before the middle ages. It has to go because of racism.
The world is utterly nuts but what is worse so many “white people” endorse this nuttiness.
Teddy Roosevelt said once, “if you come to America, we only ask two things: learn our culture and our language.”
On the other hand, Joseph, you ranted about the behavior, but never described why it is so “bad.” The behavior is bad because it is anti-integration. Turning America into a Tower of Babel where different groups cannot possibly understand each other.
One other thing: Do you think its not a logical fallacy to cast an entire state or even a city with a label of “twits” based upon the comments of a single nitwit in a single school in Portland. The fact that it was reported on by a conservative newspaper in Portland shows that the goofery did not go unnoticed.
But old white men do need to act out now and again.
Ha ha, funny! It’s always seems to be old white guys who get so worked about what is and is not racist.
I’m no defender of American education but I do believe that there are certain contexts in which a peanut butter and jelly sandwich might be subtlety racist. Indeed, it’s very difficult to have the perspicacity to notice all of our biases/prejudices/assumptions/etc as they might be viewed by outsiders (unless we’ve actually had experience living with that group of outsiders on their terms ourselves).
Having said all of that, since I’ve never been to Oregon and have no idea what is happening there, it might indeed be the land of twits after all.
I liken such “old white guys” to the only group on the cruise ship that realize it’s sinking, while the rest of the passengers and crew remain wilfully oblivious to their fate.
The concept of “white privilege” appears to be a standard feminist cliche for summarily dismissing any rational and just element of policy. Applying this cliche to peanut butter sandwiches is below the intellectual level of a village idiot.
The only group on a cruise ship? Now that’s some funny stuff. How many “brothers” and “sisters” you ever seen on a cruise ship?