Ok, I admit, the title of this blog - "Playing DARPA in the Tranhumanist Scrapbook of Mon(ster)santo" - reflects my profound personal confusion over where to file this one. Do I file it under the apocalyptic absurdist arabesques of DARPA, or do I file it under the galloping goofiness of transhumanism, or ascribe it to the latest corporate witchcraft and government-bribing sorcery of "agribusiness"?

I admit, I'm at a complete loss, so perhaps you can help me. Where would you file this?:

Glowing Plants: Street Lights of the Future?

Now, you can readily imagine the nice clean green orgasms this is already producing among certain globaloneyists on the internet. I won't mention who, but already an electronic blogging service associated with a major American "institution of higher learning" is already touting the wonderful green benefits to the planet of glow-in-the-dark plants for curbing electricity use, and thereby cutting down on carbon emissions, this curbing that wonderfully chameleon-like meme of "climate change" and thus saving the planet.

All hail the glow-in-the-dark plant.

Maybe that's why the EU wants to criminalize people not registering their petunias and begonias, I don't know.

I read this, and both laughed, and shook my head, in disbelief. The articles on this subject struck me as nothing less than a kind of a posteriori scenario: first, the mad scientists, looking for something to do, decided to fool around and invent glow-in-the-dark plants, consuming a few years, and generating some grant-driven income in the process. Having been successful, they then searched for a moral justification for the colossal waste of time and money that their silliness consumed, and came up with saving electricity, environmental friendliness, and all the other usual insanity that delights the cockles of a Rockefailure Rottenchild Bilderberg artificial heart.

So I incorporated this into my usual end-of-day ritual, where I go to bed ca 3-4AM, and spend an hour or two in bed, either winding down the day's business on my laptop, or maybe reading a bit of a book. How would this work? Ok...I carry my glow-in-the-dark petunia pot into my bedroom(these are the special Power Petunias that I bought on a sale at URA-Target), I curl up with a good book about illuminati state-sponsored terrorism through the millennia, and gradually my eyes droop and I reach over to find the switch...

... oops. No switch. There's no switch to turn my Power Petunias off or on. In fact, the darned things glow all night. I stay awake, I toss and turn. No good.

I take the damned petunias into the bathroom and shut the door, but I notice my bones glowing through my hands like at an a-bomb test. The phone rings; it's my neighbor. Could I please buy a lead pot or a NASA thermal blanket for my petunias to cover them at night? They're keeping her awake all night. The next morning, I take my power petunias to the dumpster; there's a warning label that says no dumping of power plants or other radioactive materials under penalty of a $250,000 fine and three years in prison. There's a security camera there to take my picture and reinforce the point. I hold up my pot of power petunias, smile, and wave at the camera.

That afternoon, I walk to my mailbox; there's a notice from the Department of Energy: I have thirty days left to obtain my nuclear power license for raising petunias. There's another letter from the EPPA (Environmental Petunia Protection Agency) warning me I must register my petunias after having them tested for radiation safety levels, before I can get a nuclear power license to grow them.

...and in spite of all of this, no on-off switch.

Nope, folks, this is not just another bad idea, it's just a silly one, but it's a marvelous reminder of how grand science can be, and what wonderful visions of the future scientists and globaloneyists have...

See you on the flip side.

Posted in

Joseph P. Farrell

Joseph P. Farrell has a doctorate in patristics from the University of Oxford, and pursues research in physics, alternative history and science, and "strange stuff". His book The Giza DeathStar, for which the Giza Community is named, was published in the spring of 2002, and was his first venture into "alternative history and science".


  1. Margaret on June 6, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    A novel idea that may be too novel for real science! These novelty ‘Glowing Plants’ are such a bad idea that a group has started a KickStopper campaign and petition to block funding from Kickstarter. If funded, the project company promises to mail out more than 600,000 seeds to more than 6,000 random locations. The plant has been created by synthetic biology, a controversial extreme form of biotech using artificial DNA, which is so new that there are no testing, monitoring, or approval regulations required for its release. (Eat your heart out MonSatan!)

    The petition to halt funding, deadline June 7th, feel free to sign and share:

    The ‘Kickstopper: Stopping Syn Bio Pollution’ campaign ongoing:

    For more info see Dr. Mae-Wan Ho’s report: Synthetic Biology Should We Be Afraid?

    (But your scenario is still good material Dr. Farrell ;-))

    • Robert Barricklow on June 7, 2013 at 2:12 pm

      I’ve been reading about this for some time. It ties in with the new technocapitalist mentality, of using the masses, as a just-in-time guinea pig.
      It’s in their schematic structural design; both in the frame work of the new capitaliosm & the new sciences.
      It’s insanity’s genius
      to kill anything not like itself, synthetic.
      Long-live plastic; in debt, in life, and intelligence.
      The game used to be the elites vs the masses.
      Now its jumped to nature vs artificial.
      Where fake is in; and real is out.
      Where illusions live, ane realities die.

      Uber Insanity Unbound.

  2. Margaret on June 2, 2013 at 10:49 am

    Ditto, good material Dr. Farrell. When you figure out where to file it, you can add this one …

    Scientists Splice Jellyfish to Create a Flock of Glowing Rave Sheep

    And maybe these glowing sheep 😉
    Extreme Sheep LED

    It’s good to end this week with laughter …

    Thanks for everything! Holding you, GeorgeAnn, and all here in mind and heart for the very best in your upcoming endeavors.

    • Joseph P. Farrell on June 2, 2013 at 12:43 pm

      THanks for the info Margaret, and the prayers

    • Margaret on June 2, 2013 at 2:24 pm

      and Dr. de Hart as well, not mentioned, but not forgotten!

    • Margaret on June 2, 2013 at 2:24 pm

      and Dr. de Hart as well, not mentioned, but not forgotten!

  3. marcos toledo on June 2, 2013 at 10:00 am

    Don’t these jerks have better things to do with themselves than come up with these Rub Goldberg ideas. Come on plants have enough trouble with stress from street lights think before you jump fellows get a life.

  4. enki-nike on June 2, 2013 at 9:59 am

    If my cat glowed maybe I wouldn’t stand on his tail so often! When are you going to write your (first?) novel Dr. Farrell? As Robert Barricklow mentioned, you have good material for a sci-fi bestseller 🙂

  5. Robert Barricklow on June 2, 2013 at 8:01 am

    Very well done.
    Sound like the start of a good sci-fi novel, where Joe is caught in an Uber-Wonderland of the near future. Where the prevailing orthodoxy is a Dr. Johnson technocapitalist nightmare on glowing elm-street steroids/ …Joe In Wonderland.

    • Margaret on June 2, 2013 at 11:04 pm

      Great potential! Reads like a candidate for a classic horror comedy in the vein of The Little Shop of Horrors!

      PS Robert … Apologies for my tardy replies to The Curiosity novel [revisiting mysteriously dead biologists blog] and illegally seized bees [another new study linking gmos blog … hint: one guess who funds the St. Louis Zoo’s insectarium??] Noting here because sometimes the comment feed misses listing older posts. …

      • Robert Barricklow on June 4, 2013 at 5:18 pm

        Sometimes I’am trying to reply & run into computer “glitches”. I think its a general policy to mess with “the flow”/in gambling they try to disrupt a winning streak with slowing down the game.
        At any rate, F Wlliam Engdahl has a new article on Monster Satan. The Devil’s in-the-details.

        • Margaret on June 4, 2013 at 7:19 pm

          Thanks Robert. Engdahl has MonSatan’s number alright! The evil one is skilled at deception and playing the media to advantage, with a slightly ‘[in]conveniently timed’ ‘[mis]representation’ of the ‘facts’ … At the time it didn’t ring true that MonSatan would retreat from its European theater, but this has slowed down their [gambling] game a bit. The biotech protection clause will have its first test: a Kansas farmer is suing for contamination of his fields. MonSatan’s attorney Snively [how fitting, sounds like the villainous Snidely Whiplash] dismissed it as a premature action filed by ‘tractor-chasing’ lawyers with no evidence of fault or liability. … What a game, I have to laugh 😉

          • Robert Barricklow on June 5, 2013 at 12:06 pm

            These guys & dolls must read the obits like a morbid lottery, seeing whose number comes up. Their names – be it companies or persons – look to be scripted by the same morbid obit crew.
            “Their” recent Super Bowl commercial, honoring the farmer, could a just as well have been one for the prisoners of GITMO, for the all honest-to-goodness sincerity, that the morbid-obit crew pocesses in spades, no less.
            That farmer in Canada sued for the GMOs that blew onto his farm. That farmer was counter-sued by Mon Satan. He bet the farm, & Mon Satan won. All bets are hot when it comes to Mon Satan.
            Loved your Snidley Whiplash. Dudley Do-Rights are easy game> It’s a Devils playground, manfactured commercially & gentically, to suck the life-out of the bejesus-living.

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