(Play Looney Tunes Cartoon Theme Song Here).

Just when I thought it was safe, and that the scientific buffoonery and quackery of the GMO-"agribusiness" "industry" couldn't possibly become any loonier, insane, psychopathic, narcissistic or just plain nutz, a reader of this website, Mr. A.F. sent me this article, which just about says it all. Not to be outdone by their former colonies, the British have their own unique contribution to GMO insanity:

Scorpion pesticide test goes ahead: Scientists undeterred by fresh evidence about potency of virus

Yes, you read all that correctly, scientists are now spraying pesticides laced with scorpion venom on a cabbage field in Oxfordshire, where Oxford University professors  are the (cabbage-)heads of the Institute of Virology, assuring us that all is completely safe and there's nothing to worry about,prompting me to ask the question, Did they study at Cambridge or Harvard, I wonder?

Anyway.... uh huh. We've heard all of it before.

Now, beyond the obvious stupidity and insanity now apparently gripping all of Oxfordshire, including its celebrated University of the Old Fiend (to give it the nickname my colleague and fellow Old Fiend alumnus Dr Scott D deHart coined for it), there are a number of obvious problems here. The GMO "industry" has been rapidly trying to distance itself from its own bought-and-paid-for pseudo-science over the GMO relationship to honey bee colony collapse disorder, and has as yet to address the growing studies indicating falling crop yields for GMO-only farmers. One wonders exactly how plants sprayed with scorpion venom will impact honey bee populations, vital to the Earth's food supply. After all, if they can affect caterpillars, might they not also be able to affect other insects? Apparently they don't care in Oxfordshire.

One can, however, speculate in our high octane fashion that some billionaire busybody will sponsor a foundation-paid for "study" of how to genetically engineer scorpion venom into all sorts of plants - tomatos, apples, oranges, potatos, carrots - and even pharmaceutical drugs - call it Scorpial  or Scorpimethamene - and the next thing we know the chimerical half-human half-billionaire monsters Mon(ster)santo, Synkrudda, Duponzanto and a host of other agribusiness giants will be incorporating it into their next witches' brew of GMO seeds. That way, one won't have to spray fields with scorpion venom, the plants will "naturally" produce it themselves!

So herewith my modest suggestion of the day: first, for your Boxing Day Dinners, I suggest all scientists sit down to a nice meal of GMO plants and meats prepared and thoroughly sprayed with this pesticide and its scorpion venom. Bon appetite! I would include in this modest proposal all billionaire busybodies who have foundations backing the GMO enterprise: you know who you are, so step right up, and get your scorpion venom (and get vaccinated too). Similarly, I also suggest that Oxfordshire could have been spared the enormous expense of spraying its cabbage fields with scorpion venom, and other venues might have been much more suitable for the tests in any case (Cambridgeshire, for example). A Cambridgeshire test would have had the added public relations benefit of having the Royal Stamp of Approval for Veggies with Scorpion Sauce. Finally, why bother with inventing a pesticide at all? If the caterpillar problem in Oxfordshire or Cambridgeshire is that big, why not drop millions of scorpions on the counties instead? It's considerably less expensive than engineering a pesticide with the venom, and in no time at all, the pesky caterpillars will be dealt with, the crops will be safe, and the populations of Oxfordshire and Cambridgeshire will suffer only minor inconvenience. If the scorpion-dropping program should prove successful, then it could be expanded to include all of the Midlands, East Anglia, Kent, and so on, again, with minor inconvenience to the British population.This could also be billed as an international economic stimulus, since the American southwest would be provided much needed jobs rounding up the millions of scorpions needed to blanket the British Isles, and Amerika would have a new product to export to aid its sagging balance of trade. After a few days, and with proper instruction from the BBC on how to check one's socks and shoes each day before putting them on, the British population will adapt with their customary aplomb to the minor inconvenience of millions of curved tails with stingers, and over time, new cuisines will be developed, greatly enhancing the British diet and its poor international cuisine reputation: bangers, mash, and scorpions, fish and tails, will be the order of the day.

Insane? Yes. But no more insane than the actual reality.

See you on the flip side...


Joseph P. Farrell

Joseph P. Farrell has a doctorate in patristics from the University of Oxford, and pursues research in physics, alternative history and science, and "strange stuff". His book The Giza DeathStar, for which the Giza Community is named, was published in the spring of 2002, and was his first venture into "alternative history and science".


  1. yankee phil on November 14, 2014 at 8:34 am

    On the subject of GMO long term damage it seems a university study done on plant viruses has found a virus that was only infecting plants now has worked it way into humans and causes brain damage to the hippothaylimus(pardon my lack of a dictionary) reducing basic intelligence. Seems this once plant limited virus has managed to cross over into the human genome as a result of ingested GMO rearrangement of human DNA. Thank you duuuhh monsanto. Something we were all worried about is now happening. 40 out of 100 human’s blood samples taken in the study had the plant virus active in their systems. You gotta wonder if this is being done intentionally from the beginning of GMO introduction to the food supply. Is lobotamizing america a crime against humanity or ….duuuhh what a pwetty sky,see spot run……

  2. TRM on November 9, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    Yes Canada is starting down the path of CanuckBuckYuan with no USA dollar in between!!!

    “Canadian exporters forced to use the American currency to do business in China are faced with higher currency exchange costs and longer waits to close deals.”

    So is Canada going to “shift” to non-GMO in a big way to supply China with all the food it wants next? Stay tuned!!!

  3. DownunderET on November 9, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    Wouldn’t ya have to kill a lot of scorpions to get enough venom to spray the fields ? I think the scorpions should revolt. I mean they are just humble little insects that kill people when they climb into somebody shoes and then bite the intruding foot.
    Are some scientists really going blind, well it seems so, and by the way, I’d like to get Rupert Sheldrake’ take on this experiment. Maybe he can do a survey on scorpions and their attitude to being used for scientific experiments. OR the scorpions trade union movement speaks out in protest.

  4. marcos toledo on November 9, 2014 at 9:43 am

    Is the date on this story correct if so. Britain has been using scorpion venom for last twenty years the scientific whores must have been working overtime to cover up the biological mess of the last two decades. Calling Dr. Victor Frankenstein and Dr. Josef Mengele you are both needed immediately.

  5. jedi on November 9, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Insane… gmo the scopian apple into the pig before the roast …oh boy, what a mess. however by modern standards of depravity and inhumanity it is pretty mild

    …and coming over the horizon to save the day the HMS SeeFood….the bay of sitting ducks. beep beep, Just in, the commander in chief Obama has pulled support for the operation citing a lack of cooperation of whats left of his/her military.

  6. Frankie Calcutta on November 9, 2014 at 6:45 am

    More agribusiness insanity? Signs of North American retrenchment and the building of a export scorpion industry? Or are the corporate elite already paying homage to the next US President, the scorpion queen herself, Hillary Clinton? Or, could we really be looking at war preparations against those ever menacing, Earth subjugating aliens who may in fact be giant, walking, talking scorpions or some kind of scorpion-humanoid mix? (If I were to engineer a race of humans to conquer the galaxy, a scorpion human hybrid would be my first choice– a lethal mindset with built in powerful bacterial and viral defenses). Could it be a case of DARPA taking a page from homeopathy and mildly exposing humans to scorpion venom in an attempt to prepare us for a potential scorpion invasion (and another tower of babel moment)? Imagine the alien scorpions’ surprise when they go to sting us with their giant tails and we respond with a laugh and a hello with our 12 gauge. Or, for those unfortunate, unarmed earthmen living in NY, Chicago, Massachusetts, and pretty much the rest of the world, a retaliatory swipe at the scorpion invader’s useless tail with a machete or rolling pin.

    • Frankie Calcutta on November 9, 2014 at 7:14 am

      Off topic, my apologies Dr. Farrell, but I think we all should remember to join all of Israel in their mourning of one of their greatest thespians– Elliot Simon who lost his life the other day while performing in Iraq as ISIS strongman El Bagdadi. Apparently the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, the US military, accidentally killed him and a few other ISIS actors as they were quietly celebrating the hebrew sabbath in the ISIS command center. The US air force has apologized profusely and claim they were targeting a wedding celebration of Arab christians, but Netanyahu and company are not buying it and suspect it was deliberate. Conspiracy theories already abound with some saying this godfather of Israel’s famous yiddish new wave theater may have stage his own fake death in order to be available for the upcoming Hollywood blockbuster remake of Fiddler on The Roof. Others claim he was targeted by former LA goth kid now turned El Qaida spokesmen, Adam Gadhan, who felt Simon had usurped him as the leading mossad agent posing as an Arab terrorist. Other personal issues may have pushed Gadhan into arranging for this assassination as his family his recently started to ignore his rebellious antics and his grandfather has even invited Gadhan to join the Los Angeles branch of the ADL.

      Still other internet rumors claim that factional infighting within the Senate foreign relations committee may have resulted in Simon’s death. The current head of ISIS was a close personal friend of John McCain and it is believed that rivals in the US government targeted Simon to anger McCain and destroy his chief power base and source of political campaign funding. Others claim the Saudis were behind the hit, believing that old canard– the j**s control ISIS, just like those myths that they control Hollywood, DC, and Wall Street.

      Who will replace Simon is anyone’s guess but there are rumors that American hebrew internet vaudevillian, Adam Kokesh, is hot for the role as the ISIS leader, and even sent his private jet to Israel bearing Netanyahu lox and bagels from some of NY’s best delis. Bored with his role as anti-establishment renegade, Kokesh has been studying Arabic and hopes by taking the role of ISIS chief he can lead many disillusioned American war veterans to the ISIS cause. Others have seized on this idea as well, and it is believed black childhood sitcom star Gary Coleman is in the running for the new ISIS chief in the hopes that he can lead many angry African-Americans into joining and funding ISIS, thereby taking the anglosphere’s divide and conquer strategy to the streets of the US.

      • jedi on November 9, 2014 at 12:13 pm

        according to risky business thespian the evil alien power source is under the louve in paris.
        i guess he is a student of the crack pot of quackery fatso big nose thespian noel ignateoiv “all white males should commit suicide” ..montreal smoked meat sandwiches and a kosher dill pickle coming up…

      • Guygrr on November 9, 2014 at 3:29 pm

        I can only imagine what will go thru the average sheep’s mind after they stumble upon this post from the Doc. Then they scroll down, read Frankie’s comments, and their head just explodes.

      • RAJM on November 12, 2014 at 7:22 am

        Gary Coleman passed on last year. Never one to be upstaged, an disincarnate Coleman may be even more potent. After all, the ISIS leaders appear to ghosts much of the time.

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