AMAIRIKUHN EDGYKAYSHUN STRIKES AGAIN: BROWN COWS MAKE CHOCOLATE MILK
...Admit it, you knew another of my rants about Amairikuhn edgykayshun was coming soon. Indeed, it's well overdue.
Thankfully, Mr. S.C. in the U.K. (for the Amairikuhn reading audience, those that can still barely read[remember, sound out the letters slowly...oh, wait, I forgot, that's phonics, and forbidden], "U.K." stands for the United Kingdom, a.k.a. Great Britain, which is a completely different country, which this country fought a revolution under George Washington [that's the guy on the one dollar bill] back when we were sort of "one country")...oh, never mind... it's hopeless.
You'll see just how hopeless it is, when you read the article Mr. S.C. shared with me. Granted, it's a U.K. tabloid (The Independent) and British tabloids are almost as fun as the latest episode of Sherlock (for the Amairikuhn audience, "Sherlock" is a television series on the BBC, which is the British Broadcasting Corporation, a really big television network owned by Queen Elizabeth -- no not the one who had problems with that Spanish fleet thing - based upon a character by Arthur Conan...) oh never mind, it's hopeless.
For those who haven't graduated with a BS in gender studies from Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, or other Big Name American quackademy, here's the article:
And yet, it turns out many people do not understand how chocolate milk is made: some genuinely believe chocolate milk is milk from brown cows.
Whether those brown cows are also thought to produce cocoa and sugar is not clear.
In a study by the Innovation Center of US Dairy, it was found that seven per cent of Americans believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
These weren’t children either - the research was conducted on 1,000 people over the age of 18.
A whopping 48 per cent of people said they didn’t know where chocolate milk came from. (Emphasis added)
Let that sink in: one thousand American adults were in the sample, and, good news, "That’s about 16.4 million people, which is more than the population of Ohio." And seven percent of that think brown cows are the source of chocolate milk. Assuming a certain percentage of that were simply "joke responses" that still leaves a rather large portion of the population that is just plain stupid. Extending the "chocolate-milk-from-brown-cows" principle indicates just how colossally stupid a significant segment of the American population really is, for it would have cottage cheese being made in cottages, buttermilk coming from ...what? cows of a sour disposition? And, as the article points out, strawberry milk from, well, strawberry-eating cows?
But wait, the stupidity is not over:
This isn’t the first study to reach a worrying conclusion though - previous research has found that nearly one in five Americans do not know that hamburgers are made from beef.
Wait... you mean, the hamburger I had for lunch yesterday was not from Hamburg? (Oh the shock! the horror!) False advertising! There should be a law, or at least, a warning label on hamburgers that they are not from Hamburg!
Think I'm exaggerating? Think the American public is not that stupid? Think it is not capable of insipid explanations and responses like that? Well, check this statement out:
“At the end of the day, it’s an exposure issue,” said Cecily Upton, co-founder of the nonprofit FoodCorps, which brings agricultural and nutrition education into elementary schools.
“Right now, we’re conditioned to think that if you need food, you go to the store. Nothing in our educational framework teaches kids where food comes from before that point.”
And apparently some people don’t feel any huge need to find out either.
“We still get kids who are surprised that a French fry comes from a potato, or that a pickle is a cucumber,” Upton said.
It's an "exposure issue." No, it's not an "exposure issue." Let's quit using the flannel-mouthed euphemisms of the snowflake to qualify things, and call it like it is: it's an "education issue," and more accurately, a complete failure of our education system; top to bottom: failure. Teaching credentials have produced failure; doctors of edubabble have produced failure; their pseudo-discipline has produced failure. Why? Because by and large, the system has been deliberately designed by stupid people (the aforesaid doctors of education) for stupid people to reward stupid people. Failure, from kindergarten to the Harvard BS in gender studies: failure.
The result? Chocolate milk comes from brown cows, cottage cheese from cottages, and hamburgers are sandwiches from Hamburg(or Germans!?!? There's a possibility! Hamburgers are really sandwiches made of Germans from Hamburg!)
And just wait, sooner or later, we'll hear that the playing field needs to be leveled to account for the lack of "opportunity" to be "exposed" to commonplaces, and that questions like this will thus eventually appear on the individually-adjusted computerized standardized tests of the Common Core program.
That sounds like a stupid idea, doesn't it? That sounds completely impossible, doesn't it? But no, the "exposure issue" has already produced the chocolate-milk-from-brown-cows formula.
See you on the flip side...
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