...Yes, you read the headlines of today's blog correctly, and for once, I don't have to indulge in high octane speculation, because someone else is apparently doing that for me, courtesy of the US Patent office. It was found and shared by B.S., and indeed (and with respect to the article's sharer) we may be looking at some B.S. of a different sort:
Notably, the patent was filed in 2014 by a "John Q. St. Clair," but the patent notice also states that its status is "abandoned." This is strong evidence that we are probably looking at something intended to get the internet buzzing, because "abandonment" status can come about for non-payment of registry fees, or can result if a patent is amended after the the close of a statutory period, or failure to respond within a time frame set by communication from the patent office to the filer, and so on.
With that said, let's have some fun anyway, and look at the abandoned patent's claims. They are quite "clear":
This invention is a training system that enables a human being to acquire sufficient hyperspace energy in order to pull the body out of dimension so that the person can walk through solid objects such as wooden doors.
BACKGROUND OF THE INVENTIONA human being is a hyperspace energy being living in a physical container or body that is comprised of 67% water. This high percentage of water makes this invention possible. Referring to FIG. 1, the hyperspace energy being receives energy from our dimension through seven vortices that run the length of the body. Each vortex connects to a separate hyperspace dimension having its own particular frequency. This arrangement allows for the development of seven modular energy components corresponding to the mind, spiritual eye, voice, body, abdomen, plasma energy ball (battery), and ground connection.
Researching the historical records, referring to the statue in FIG. 3, a humble black Catholic Dominican friar of the Santo Rosario Convent, by the name of San Martin de Porres, living in Peru in the 1500's, also developed this ability to walk through doors. For his beatification, many witnesses came forward to recount his extraordinary abilities. For example, a witness, who worked in the Convent, went to the cell of San Martin to ask for something to eat. When he reached the cell, he saw San Martin leaving with some medications apparently to heal someone sick. The witness waited by the open door of the cell for his return. After having waited awhile without being distracted by anything else, he saw said venerable brother fray Martin come out from his cell from the inside and call him by name. The witness was terrified, not understanding how this was possible.
Taking the positive square root, the speed of light is one meter per second at the Planck boundary. The experiments with brain hemisphere resonance show that the resonant frequency of the human energy field is between 1 Hz to 5 Hz which is well below the hearing threshold of 20 Hz. Because the traveling wave has a wavelength of 0.3048 m and the speed of light is unity at the boundary, the frequency should be f = c λ = 1 m sec .3048 m = 3.28 Hz
which is within the middle of the experimental male range. At this resonant frequency, the human energy being pops out of the body. This represents only a first stage in the development of the energy being. But what is really wanted is to have both the physical body and the energy field move out of dimension together as San Martin did.(Boldface emphasis added.)
On the very first experiment, referring to FIG. 10, what happens is that, after taking only six strides on the banner printout (A), a huge spinning vortex (C) develops over the top of the head and the vertex locks onto the heart vortex in the center of the chest (B). In everyday life, this vortex is not created because normal walking is much faster and the hands are held at the side of the body. The energy rush through the pineal gland is so intense that one feels immediately sleepy and starts yawning excessively due to the increased flow of melatonin.
After practicing with the banner printout, long walks were made through the park. In this case, a vertical white line rotated around a vertical axis located about six feet perpendicular to the path on the right side of the body. When the walking speed was correct, this white line would lock onto the centerline of the body. Speeding up or down caused the white line to lose synchronization and rotate away. This white line is related to the ability to levitate the body. San Martin had so much energy that, according to witness testimony, he could float horizontally in the air with his head resting against the bowed head of Christ on a carved wooden cross. Thus San Martin's energy sources were channeling energy from Christ, collective broom energy as described in a separate patent application, and the walking momentum vortex energy.
And after this walk through the park, we read at the end of the abandoned patent application the following:
In summary, the purpose of the training system is to substantially increase the energy of a human being who will then have the capability of walking through walls, body levitation, instantaneous healing of infections, full-body teleportation to another location, remote viewing at vast distances in terms of light-years, and looking into hyperspace co-dimensions. The third test subject and I have been able to experience all the above phenomena. He did it through augmenting his energy, and I have done it through the application of electromagnetic fields, by spinning on my vortex accelerator machine and using this invention.
Uh huh. One does indeed experience all sorts of strange stuff when one is dizzy, and we seem to be dealing with a case of that here. There's a whole school of mystical Islam that has been saying the same thing for centuries, without the aid of E=Mc^2, walks in the park, or "vortex accelerator machines," (which in the context, might be one of those children's carousels that spins around, such as one might encounter on long walks through a park).
There is, however, a hard core amidst all this gobbledegook. It does not take very long when reading hagiographical works to discover that all sorts of saints - and indeed, all sorts of reports about people who were not saints - were reported doing all sorts of strange things. The chief thing in such accounts is the prevalence of reports about people levitating, and on occasion, walking apparently through solid objects. One does have to wonder whether or not actual research into such phenomena might actually have been conducted. In a world where serious scientific investigation was done into the remote viewing phenomenon, to assume it was not done would seem to strain credulity.
So where does that leave this abandoned patent full of someone's bizarre sense of humour?
One possibility is that it was deliberately designed to cast the whole cluster of ideas - levitation, walking through solid objects, remote viewing, time displacements, invisibility, teleportation and so on - into extreme doubt simply by its sheer ridiculousness. But I suspect this is a case of you tell me...
See you on the flip side...