THE U.S. ARMY'S LITTLE APRIL FOOLS JOKE: TELEPORTED SOLDIERS

THE U.S. ARMY’S LITTLE APRIL FOOLS JOKE: TELEPORTED SOLDIERS

Normally when people send me a story like this, I like to thank them by mentioning their initials. In this case, we'll just say thanks go to "N".  You'll understand my reticence in a moment, because I have the distinct impression that what's going on here is not only an April Fools' Joke, but a bit of "psyops fun", so to speak. So, while normally I like to post the article first and then my high octane speculation, here I'm going to reverse the process.

Suppose, for a moment, that you want to introduce maximum contextual doubt into a target population. How would you do it? Well, one way would be to "leak" a story, or plant a story, with claims so outlandish that people would wonder whether or not there was a kernel of truth in it, simply because it's source was (1) a no-nonsense sort of source, and (2) that source made it abundantly clear that the whole story was a prank, a joke. Even with the stated caveat, a certain segment of the population will then indulge the "yes, but" phenomenon, and get itself tangled in infinite loops, debating and holding internal conversations to the effect that how does one hide truth? Why, right out in the open, in the form of a prank. Or, conversely, because it's a prank, there's no truth to it. And so on, in endless spirals oscillating ceaselessly between belief and skepticism. And of course, as part of such an operation, one can use it as a "dye-the-waters" operation, to monitor who picks up on it (which we're gladly doing here because we like this sort of high octane speculation).

As I've argued elsewhere, this sort of "experiment" might even conceivably be part of some sort of "macro-physics-consciousness" experiment to see if indeed group consciousness effects can manifest, not on a quantum level, but precisely in the everyday world. The experiments of California materials science professor Dr William Tiller would seem to suggest the latter. In any case, the possibility of experiment-cum-prank, or prank-cum-experiment, or, far more likely, just a plain old prank, remains. So with that context in mind, consider the following story shared by "N":

BREAKING: Army scientists successfully 'teleport' Soldiers

I have to admit I had quite a chuckle at the "details" of the "expedition" of the teleporting soldiers who stepped into a chamber "over here", and stepped out in the twinkling of an eye (quite literally!) "over there" in Grafenwoehr, Germany:

The nine human research volunteers, fresh out of Advanced Individual Training, were participating in experiments in the Doriot Climatic Chambers at NSSC when they disappeared and moments later materialized at the Grafenwoehr Training Area, completely unharmed. The chambers are capable of replicating any climate or weather in the world but have never before been used in this manner.

Of course, this unexpected result caused a great deal of "elation" as the Army officials quickly realized the strategic implications:

Officials at Natick were elated by the event, which promises to one day revolutionize the way that American troops and equipment are transported around the globe. It also could ultimately make overseas bases obsolete as forces are instead moved from U.S. soil to remote trouble spots in the blink of an eye.

With that, of course, we have the other part of the psyop: if we can do this, we can also materialize soldiers in... oh, say, the Kremlin, or in, oh, say, Sultan Erdogan's bed chamber, the Saudi royal palaces, or Mr. Xi Jinping's gold-platted bathroom. (Singing:) "And we won't be back till it's over over there." Ha ha, April fools! Just kidding!

And you have to give credit where credit is due: the Army has a sense of humor, and is playing it up for all it's worth. The teleportation trek, as it turns out, was a complete accident and surprise, and the whole thing resembles the technical gadgetry of Back to the Future:

Storm and other Natick researchers are now poring over mountains of data from the development in hopes of replicating it. Meanwhile, the Army quickly established a Teleportation Study Task Force, which will be based at Natick. Leading scientists from private industry and academia worldwide are converging on the chambers to lend whatever assistance they can.

According to Storm, a device not unlike the "flux capacitor" seen in the "Back to the Future" movie series was employed during the experiment. This led to immediate speculation that the Army was also working on time travel, but time travel requirements of generating 1.21 gigawatts is no trivial feat.

"1.21 gigawatts? Holy smokes, Dr. Brown! That's enormous! ... wait, isn't HAARP's output in the gigawatt range?"

"Wait, climate chambers that can produce weather? Like tornadoes 'n vortices 'n stuff? Like the chambers what's-his-name says Obama and he took teleporting trips to Mars in?"

You have to hand it to them, they're having a lot of fun with this one. (By the way guys, 1.21 gigawatts is a walk in the park for our flux-capacitors. Check with our Sales Department. They're $1,000,000,000 each, but we have bulk plans available.)

And the final bit of fun:

The Task Force expects to report its initial findings by April Fools' Day, 2017.

Now, we could add a few things at this juncture, by way of a patent here and a document there and a news story or two about quantum entanglement over there, a DARPA story about warp drive goals back over here, but that would ruin their fun. So commence a festival! It's a pure prank, right? or, wait a minute, they're hiding truths right out in the open, right? Or, no, it's just a prank. But then, it's a psyop... but, then again, if so, against whom? For what purpose? Wait... were they dropping acid that day?

Have fun... and...

...oh, by the way, we'll be releasing our own analysis of their report, also on April Fools' Day of this year.

See you on the flip side(which might be awhile, because I'm still laughing here.) ...

 

 

27 thoughts on “THE U.S. ARMY’S LITTLE APRIL FOOLS JOKE: TELEPORTED SOLDIERS”

  1. “1.21 gigawatts?” How many Austwitz Bela plants is that?
    It’s all a ruse for Germany to say that they managed to finally get a way to get all their gold from Fort Knox. Only problem was the need for financial alchemy to conjure the non existent gold, then it’s good to go.
    Did you hear to one about the Soldierported Tellie’s?
    If you want far out, real and this millenium, Judy Wood recently on 911.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jc_ZBpmluY
    Teleporting as Just dustified and blown through the (unflooded NY) tubes. Problem how to put it back together again though. (and would you like Flies with that? / The Fly movie)

    1. Interesting thought: If you teleported-away the structural part of the Tower and then teleported it back without the ‘integration’ information, would it reappear as in-place ‘dust’?

  2. There is a story in Buddhist circles about the Buddha (Ghautama?) being on one shoreline of a river in flood and then ‘instantaneously’ being seen on the other shoreline. Assuming this is truthful, how would one know whether this was spiritually-based teleportation or some aliens reading Buddha’s mind and using beam-me-up-Scotty technology to transport him where he wished? (This goes for all reported instances of teleportation over the millennia…)

    (I had the immediate reaction to the article that this story could be another ‘peg’ in the demonization of alt sites through the inevitable few that would run with it, but the publish-date is April 1, 2016. This article would have to be a distant Forerunner [Andre Norton plug] of that gambit, if so…)

  3. Robert Barricklow

    Well, starting out with the conclusion:
    As Sergeant Preston of the Yukon[circuit 1955-58] would say after solving the case and sending the black hats to jail, “That’s a wrap King!”[his trusted huskie sidekick]

    So that’s what they discovered in Antarctica!!!

  4. all of this is real but none of it is true. Weather chamber managers name… Benjamin Storm of course.
    The author obviously freelances for marvel comics on the side.

  5. I truly believe the truth continues to be hidden out in the open mostly under the guise of labled “fiction” (thanks, Hollywood!) and that star-gates are an actual reality;

    so if/IF (big IF) military men are yet again being used as experimental guinea pigs (as Heinz Kissinger once stated: “military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used for political purposes”) for whatever reason nothing ever, ever changes;

    military men are almost always shown the exit door; so if/IF this report has validity do these people ever return?

    Larry in Germany

    1. Larry, there are also the ‘natural’ star-gates. Numerous stories over the centuries (even to the present) talk of portals, gates, etc. Whether natural ‘rifts’ in spacetime or constructed by sorcerers/adepts/beings of ages past, these have been part of folk-tales lloonngg before technology arrived. Those are more the ones that I am interested in…

      1. yea, goshawks, I couldn’t agree with you more; the world out there there is NOT what we’ve been told it is…

  6. If you go to some stores since the late sixties the doors open like on Star Trek. Someone saw the show and decided to make automatic doors real. The idea of a habitable moon orbiting a planet goes back to the novel When Worlds Collide in the 1930’s and include a rogue planet roaming without a star to orbit. Then there is the Super Earth Krypton 1938 home world of Superman. Science fiction is more on the mark than so called scientist. So the idea or teleportation should never be ruled out.

    1. Honestly Marco.. I don’t know what to believe anymore with this Hollywood business. I’m sure they’ve been pumping out images for years to condition us.. . . starting with flying saucers and little green men.

      https://youtu.be/xaVgRj2e5_s?t=105

      https://www.nrl.navy.mil/media/news-releases/2015/transparent-armor-from-nrl-spinel-could-also-ruggedize-your-smart-phone

      But really.. What’s happening in Hollywood. When you see things like this.. (Jordan Maxwell talking about Hollywood..) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emsc3DcEqD0
      What are we talking about. Mass crowd control or just reality reflecting fantasy. Do we give ourselves the means to attain our dreams by being inspired by our childhood dreams.
      (https://singularityhub.com/2012/08/04/thats-right-japan-has-created-a-real-life-4-ton-mech-robot/
      🙂 watch out for these babies in space…Universal peacekeepers with gatling guns)

  7. Grist for the Giza mills!

    Shades of Paul Bennewitz. One would almost think that it was lovingly handcrafted in Alphabetland for taunting the alternative audience and getting some serious torsion physics going as people’s minds start spinning in circles beneath their tin foil hats.

  8. The problem with so called “jump-rooms” for teleportation: They have to be placed on the site to be teleported to in advance.

    So they are useless for dropping commandos into some enemy’s offices. And one can’t teleport to Mars from say Pittsfield Massachusetts without having placed a unit on Mars by another means.

    The technology goes back to the early 20th century. And for other purposes, of course under a different name, it is in wide spread use throughout the industrialized world.

    Right, this is an April Fools joke, possibly designed to see the reaction.

        1. I dont think its an April Fool’s joke. I think they rolled out their statement on that day to confuse people. Like Hollywood giving us Flying Saucers’s.. That way, its pushed into fringe and no one takes it seriously.
          Check out my comments below.

          1. Kahlypso:

            Okay, that’s what I thought. Yes, I’d seen your other comments.

            However you missed my point, in another comment, about this gear being basically 100 year old technology that’s already widely used for other purposes. No real need to speak of quantum this or wormhole that.

  9. Wow. The only memes missing are reverse engineered ET technology and the CERN portal hypothesis. This does have the contours of a modern day Philadelphia Experiment story that is perfectly tuned for intense speculation, whereas a more modest experiment of another nature may have concluded successfully yielding unexpected consequences.

    1. Having said this, I am seriously inclined to believe this is more joke than revelation, since anyone in the military knows already that such deployment goals are the holy grail of logistics.

          1. Lost usually demands all and sundry provide their source to back up their comments yet rarely adheres to his own rules.

            Like Jarret, i’d like to know how how YOU KNOW this tech has been in existence since 1915?!?!

  10. Someone could launch a story about an as yet not perfected technology to test the theory that the consciousness factor in unwary “believers” would actually give a boost to such techniques. Old magic under new labels.
    Oh and by the way in the stargate series the “good guys” (green beret clones and inept young researchers) did not always have an easy time guarding against unwanted intrusions. Look out for patents to control “hacking” of teleportation.

    1. DT:

      “inept young researchers”?

      Doesn’t sound like you’re familiar with Stargate SG1 the TV series.

      Also, right, how else would you write a TV series about aliens and fantastic transport technology, of course it will be hacked and aliens will get lose on the base.

      Much more interested in the massive office tower teleported into space before it explodes. Supposed to be Seattle, and ostensibly the city has been cleared of because a large nuclear weapon is about to explode–the weapon was the structure of the building itself. There’s some mumbling afterward about the building wreckage not amounting to the whole building. Seems a more than obvious reference to…

  11. I didnt think that this was an April Fool’s Prank when I saw it last year.
    I remember your blogs about quantum teleportation, and at this time last year, we are hearing about all sorts of VunderWaffles coming out of the woodwerkenhausen.. Yeh, lasers, Energy Shields, Masers, Tasers and sharp sticks. Then the Military come out with a news article.. conveniently slipped out on April Fool’s day.. But you’ll be a fool to think that the Military has a sense of Humour…. Sir, Does not compute Sir!

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/22/russia-aims-to-develop-teleportation-in-20-years/

    (2 months later…. after the USA article… quote :
    “It sounds fantastical today, but there have been successful experiments at Stanford at the molecular level,” Alexander Galitsky, a prominent investor in the country’s technology sector, told Russia’s Kommersant daily on Wednesday”)

    Lets go back further…. to 2014…
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2643332/Beam-Scientists-sat-teleportation-possible-transfer-atoms.html
    (quote : Nothing in the laws of physics fundamentally forbids the teleportation of large objects, including humans, researchers claim.)

      1. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Eric_Davis6

        He ‘seems’ to be a real deal.. He has some good ideas about WormHole Induced Propulsion that holds up.. This is probably where the Quantum Computers are going to come into their own, for doing warp drive calculations and reconstucting spacetime metrics.

        This is all connected to space travel.. And really.. I want to know.. Which planet did Gene Roddenberry really come from…
        Warp Drive.. Check.
        Portable communicators (hello mobile phone) Check
        Teleportation.. Check or really soon. Check..
        Energy Forcefields. Check.
        Phasers and Photon Torpedoes…. Well at least Phasers.. Check. I’m sure someone somewhere is doing their darnnest best for the torpedoes.. . . Antimatter Torpedoes anyone? http://alpha.web.cern.ch/penningtrap

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